Top 20 of First Semester 2010!

There are so many blessings that we encounter over a semester. It’s hard to acknowledge them all, but here are my top twenty for the semester.

20. My Birthday – My birthday was made special by the 400 smiling faces singing “Happy Birthday” to me while I stood in the middle aisle of the church after Mass. Also an old student heard it was my birthday and he called a current student to let me know that he was going to treat me to dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Then one of the Belizean teachers had their wife bake me a cake. The volunteers also had a signed card for me and made a cake to celebrate.

19. Siddarth/Sanji/Zoe/Sandra – These adorably cute children always brighten my day when they’re around. Siddarth and Sanji are the son and daughter of Mr. Punjabi, the Math and Business teacher at the high school. Zoe is one of their friends and Sandra is the daughter of the custodian who works at our school. These four children are so joyful and so funny, coloring with them and playing games with them is always a treat.

18. Visiting two students at their house – One of my students was in a motorcycle accident in which he was banged up pretty bad. Another teacher and I made the point to go visit him at his house. He was very grateful for the visit – we were his first visitors. Another student was missing from class for 10 days. I knew that he was a student that had potential to drop-out. I took initiative to visit him and to make sure everything was okay. He was not planning on coming back to school, but through a little persuasion, he was back at school the next class day. These were two opportunities where I realized the impact we can make as a teacher.

17. Mountain Pine Ridge – the staff retreat in the middle of the mountains. The highlights were swimming in the pools, going to the Rio Frio Caves, and playing games with the volunteers.

16. Hurricane Richard – The electricity went out which means that we volunteers, who normally have nothing to do, had even less to do, but we make do with what we have and it ended up being a blast of playing games in the dark with flashlights and candles.

15. Theology of the Body Song Presentations – This was one opportunity where I realized that I have the potential to be a great teacher. The students had to present on a song in modern culture (“Soy Hombre” ~ Aventura, “Whatcha Say” ~ Jason Derulo, “Don’t Tell Me” ~ Avril Lavigne, “Mine” ~ Taylor Swift, etc…) and tell me whether it was a good example or a bad example of masculinity, femininity, sexuality, love, or lust. They did awesome with it! I was so proud of them!

14. St. Ignatius High School – Although I dreaded the thought of it. It was actually a blast and renewed my love for teaching as I entered into 6 different classrooms at a different high school to give a talk on God’s love. I saw some familiar faces from when I first visited on a week mission trip in March 2009 and I really connected with the kids there.

13. Los Finados – I never really appreciate All Souls Day until I celebrated it this year. It was absolutely beautiful as we processed in candlelight from the church after Mass praying the Rosary in Spanish to see a beautifully decorated, candlelit, and populated cemetery with families praying in remembrance of their deceased family members. Students made altars dedicated to praying for the faithfully departed. Families invited me to drink xpasha and eat bollos in honor of their family members.

12. Hanging out with Victor – Victor is my Belizean friend who is an IT teacher at the high school. He is such an awesome friend and I am so thankful for the many times I have hung out with him and just relaxed. School can get very stressful, but whenever I would go over to Victor’s to eat, watch TV, or have a drink, it always put my mind and heart at ease.

11. Market in Melchor – There have been many times when I have went over to Melchor de Mencos, Guatemala the border-town right across from us and have went to spend time with my students at the market place where they work. The market is so much fun. There are clothes from Hollister, Abercrombie, American Eagle, etc… (which explains why my students are way more stylish than I) and this is where my students work. On the other side of the stalls are the houses of my students and it’s amazing to experience the hospitality that they have to offer. When I visit they make sure to take out chairs for me to sit and to offer me Pepsi or cola.

10. Christmas Celebrations with Volunteers - Because we are always looking for a reason to celebrate when there’s not much to do, we do holidays big. This Christmas we made a bunch of snowflakes and hung them from the ceiling, made a paper life-size Christmas tree, had Yankee Swap, and Secret Santa.

9. Halloween Party with Volunteers – we all dressed up and invited a few Belizean teachers to come join us. It was a masquerade fiesta as we had the 80’s, a Twister board, a Coke bottle, a mobster, a biker girl, Ursula, a pumpkin, a 50’s girl in a poodle skirt, a gypsy, a Islamic woman, and a Jedi. The dancing was fun!

8. Fishing in Melchor – One day, I was asked to go with a bunch of students to go fishing with them in Melchor, Guatemala. One student drove their jeep to the place where we would fish. We “fished” with a stick, fishing line, a hook, and we had to look for the worms. Later they decided to put chicken necks on the line, but they had to go buy them. Their jeep ended up getting stuck for three hours in which we pushed and shoved and dug. It was hilarious! To top it off, they drove me back to the border on my very first motorcycle ride.

7. San Pedro – One of the three day weekends, the volunteers made sure to get out of good ole mundane Benque to go to La Isla Bonita – San Pedro on Ambergeris Caye. It’s so beautiful out there! We stayed at a resort for super cheap through a connection that someone had. We had great food and a great time!

6. Day on the Ranch – I was asked to go hang out with some of my former student’s on their ranch in Guatemala. We drove out there and there we cooked steak on a stick and then rode a horse. It was a lot of fun to hang out with them and have quite the adventure.

5. Mr. Mai’s – We were invited to lay cement for one of the teacher’s house. There we mixed the cement and laid it down, then after all the hard work – we went for a relaxing swim down the river making fun pit-stops along the way.

4. Flores and Tikal – Another three-day weekend rolled around and a few of us had a much-needed vacation to Flores in Guatemala. The beautiful island on the Lake Peten Itza. We sang karaoke, went souvenir shopping, ate delicious food, and enjoyed the view and each other’s company. Later we went to Tikal, which is a huge Mayan ruin site which is absolutely amazing. There we met two amazing people, Adam and Kate, who are biking to raise awareness for Autism. Later we met up with other volunteers and took a boat tour around the lake.

3. Third Form Girls Retreat – Was a great opportunity to get to know and show my support for the girls that I teach in the third form. It was so clear that God had so much healing for the girls on this retreat and it was beautiful to see them be so receptive to God’s love.

2. Skit – There was a welcome assembly for the first formers and the teacher’s decided to put on a skit in which we dressed up like the students and acted like them. Then we broke out into the Cupid Shuffle in front of all 400 students who erupted into smiles, laughs, and screams.

1. Knights of the Immaculate Retreat – This was such a huge blessing of the semester in which I saw God do such mighty things in the men who were open to the power of the love of God and it helped me grow in fellowship with them.

Mid-November and December

The thing about missionary life is that it is still life. And because it is still life, it has the same challenges, same habits, same vices, same problems, and same tendency to complacency to overcome as in non-missionary life. Things can go very well when on mission, so much so that you are amazed that God has called you to such an incredible privilege and opportunity that it brings you to such complete joy. However, so much of mission is ordinary. So much of it is same old, same old. There is so much routine one can often times become complacent in going through the motions again and again, day in and day out, that one can easily lose focus on what everything is really all about. See I told you it’s still life. And when that happens, God loves to throw a curveball to mix things up a bit. When you expect things to continue to be amazing and beautifully providential, not because of your faith or trust in God, but because that’s just how things have gone, why wouldn’t it continue? You take for granted the many blessings you have encountered and you almost forget to count your blessings because you’re used to them. And you almost come to expect them because you somehow come to believe that you, yourself, are responsible for them. And that is when everything flings out of control. At times it can cause one to seriously doubt everything, but only through that dark period of doubt can one come to realize the true meaning behind everything. This needs to happen in order to remind one that everything is a gift. We do not earn anything, we do not deserve anything, we should not expect anything. Everything that we receive is a gift that is undeserved and unwarranted. This is something of the beauty and generosity of God, which is why every now and again we need a wake-up call to remind us of this truth – that we are nothing and that God is everything. That is what this past month has been about for me. Beginning with the third form boys’ retreat. I thought it would be the best retreat yet and that God would manifest Himself in manifold. This was the class that I pretty much made my decision to come back to Belize for. It was because I loved the second form students so much that I decided to come back and teach them. And yet this was one of the most painful retreats I’ve ever been on. Where I thought great things would happen, it seemed things went wildly out of control. The boys seemed apathetic, non-receptive, and bored. My heart ached in pain, seeing their amazing potential and seeing them be so nonchalant towards it. I guess this is something of what God feels for us when we do the same. I’ve noticed a lot of the students I was close with have really been becoming more and more detached. I was so frustrated and so confused. At that moment, I thought for the first time since I’ve been in Belize that I wanted to go home and quit. I wanted to give up. As I came back from the retreat so depressed and upset the student who received Communion for the first time in five years on the Knights retreat asked me if we were going to pray the Rosary today and I said “If you want to pray the Rosary, let’s go to the chapel.” So me and this student prayed a Rosary together alone in the chapel. And then he began to tell me how he had really began to change and when he was going through a really rough time at home and at school almost to the point of not wanting to come back to the school. He said “a phrase keeps coming back to me from the letters I received on retreat and from different situations, ‘Never Give up.’” And at that moment I realized that God was speaking through this student to me. A few weeks later, again, I was going through some serious doubts about my effectiveness and what was really the whole point of me being in Belize. I was at a daily Mass and I was just thinking, “God what am I doing here?! I’m not doing anything at this school. I’m not making a difference. If I was a good teacher, how come there are no students that come to daily Mass?” I was so frustrated and going through so many doubts. As I received Communion I offered everything up to God and as I turned the corner to return to my seat, I saw in the Communion line that same student. Sure enough, God continued to speak to me through this student. He’s been at Mass almost every day since. God, as the master Catechist, was teaching me a lesson that I largely had forgotten. It’s not me. It’s not my mission – it’s His. It’s not me – It’s Him.

“And you will meet humiliation all through your lives. The greatest humiliation is to know that you are nothing. This you come to know when you face God in prayer. When you come face to face with God, you cannot but know that you are nothing, that you have nothing. In the silence of the heart God speaks. If you face God in prayer and silence, God will speak to you. Then you will know that you are nothing. It is only when you realize your nothingness, your emptiness, that God can fill you with Himself.” ~Mother Teresa

How beautiful it is to know, it’s not me. It’s Him, it’s in His hands. All I have to do is say “Yes – Fiat! Let it be done to me according to Your word!” It’s so easy to get caught up in the stupid day to day things that happen that you forget the main point. You can get so caught up in “busy-ness” that you forget your own need and dying thirst for God, Himself. You get so caught up in the routine and the way things go that you forget what everything is all about. It’s Him! It’s Him! He is worthy of the first thought and the last thought and everything in between. Why can we get so caught up with non-sense. It’s so easy to become selfish about your own time that I’ve realized I’ve lost focus in my teaching, in my relationship with students, and with my relationship with God. Oh how beautiful is His mercy that He reminds us that even in those times of deep doubt and darkness that He leads us into His light.

This reminds me of St. Thomas. In the Gospels, never is Jesus referred to as “Theos” meaning “God”, but only “Kyrios” meaning “Lord” which can be used to describe a human person worthy of honor because they had authority from God like a king or magistrate. This was because for the Jews, which was strictly monotheistic to the core, to call anyone “God” would go utterly and directly against the fact Yahweh is God and there is no other. “Lord” was a way for the Gospel writing Jews to express divine authority without putting into question the monotheism of God. St. Thomas is always thought of as “the Doubter,” that’s what is most commonly associated with St. Thomas, which is so sad considering he was eventually a martyr for the faith. But most don’t look at St. Thomas from the following perspective. Imagine that you spend three years of your life with this man called Jesus and you see Him do miracles, you see Him heal the sick, cure the lame, the deaf, and the blind and forgive sins. He looks in your eyes with such an intensity of love and He speaks truth, which burns deeply in your heart. You come to realize that He is so much more than just a man. He is the Christ. He is Lord. He loves you in your essence. He loves you totally for who you are. And you know that by the look in His eyes. Now imagine that this Christ whom you’ve loved dies and then you hear from everyone you’ve hung out with for the past three years that this Christ appeared to all of them, but not you. Would you not doubt also? “But I was a friend of Christ too? I gave up everything for Him, why would He not appear to me? I saw the way He looked at me and He loved me! There’s no way that that the Jesus I knew would appear to all my friends, but not to me! I do not believe He rose from the dead and unless I see His hands and put my finger in His side I will not believe.” Imagine being in this doubt and aloneness where the Apostles are ecstatic saying that they have seen the Risen Christ, your one true friend, and they are filled with this amazing joy and you have to hear them reflect on it, speaking about it, knowing that if something did happen it happened to all of them but didn’t happen to you. “Why would Christ do that? Didn’t He love me? What’s wrong with me? What did I do wrong that would make Christ appear to everyone else but me? He must not have risen!” And after a week of deep doubt and deep darkness finally Jesus meets Thomas in his doubt, in his darkness. And here is the beautiful lesson that St. Thomas teaches us. That it is in those doubts and in that darkness, in those low times, that Christ desires to bring us into the light of His truth… it’s not about us… it’s about Him! And blessed are those who believe in those times of doubt and darkness who have not seen… because they will come to know who Jesus really is. And here is the deepest confession of faith that you will see anyone make in the entire Bible… Thomas cried out “My Lord “Kryios” and my God “Theos!” It is precisely through those times of doubt and through those times of darkness that Jesus will build our faith even more deeply in Him than ever before and He meets us where we are and let’s us put our fingers in His side and touch His heart where we can come to realize that HE IS GOD and that we are not. We are nothing and that He is everything! Jesus I trust in You!

November 2010

Wow, so much has happened in November even in just these past two weeks.

My classes with my fourth form have been going excellently. I had my students present on a song that is popular in the culture now and they had to tell me whether it was a good example of love, masculinity, femininity, sexuality, or a false vision of masculinity, femininity, sexuality, or lust. They did such a good job. I am so impressed with how they maturely and accurately evaluated the different songs in light of everything they have learned concerning the Theology of the Body.

Last week we had a day retreat for 3^rd Form girls and it was a very powerful experience. The Holy Spirit for sure had His hand on how things went down. The theme for the retreat was the love of God the Father and so much of the retreat reflected on the students own relationship with their father – which many of them expressed their own hurts and brokenness that has come from their fathers coming home drunk and scolding them or abusing them or their mothers or different situations that they have had where they actually felt the love of God the Father saving them from their own loneliness and depression. We did a skit where we showed how throughout life we pick up baggage from different situations and carry them with us but with God – He lightens our load. Then we did an apology expressing how we were sorry for times their friends or family had hurt them. Afterwards, they received a handwritten letter as if it was written from God the Father expressing everlasting and unconditional love for them. Many tears were shed, but I could tell that a lot of healing happened. It was a beautiful experience.

This past weekend, we had an overnight retreat for the Knights of the Immaculate in which 10 new members were inducted. The retreat was an awesome time to relax, to fellowship, and to pray. It was so amazing! Much of the retreat is a secret for those who participate, so they do not know what to expect. The highpoint of the retreat was Adoration and the time where the students received letters unbeknownst to them from their parents, siblings, friends, and teachers. You could see God just love these kids so much through this experience. Many of them were crying because of the amount of love and support that they felt. Some were shaking their head in disbelief because they never realized that they were so loved. One student looked at me with tears in his eyes saying, “He’s so powerful! … and I just want to say I love you man. Thank you.” Another kid who is new this year to the high school, I met him last year when he was in primary school because I went with his older brother whom I taught, to his grandfather’s funeral. I remember praying my Rosary for their family and feeling like God wanted me to give this Rosary to my student’s younger brother whom I did not know at the time. After we buried his grandfather, I went up to him and told him that I was sorry for his loss and I put the Rosary in his hands and he looked at me so intensely and immediately he started to weep. From that moment on I have been praying for him and this year he is in the high school and he came on retreat and it just explains how God knew even back then that He was going to bring us together in an awesome way and when we prayed the Rosary he made sure to show me that he still has the one I gave him. Another kid who has been struggling a lot with behavior problems almost to the point of getting kicked out of school has been going through a major conversion and he desired to change a lot in his life and he decided to come on retreat. During the letters, he broke down crying. That night he stayed up all night without sleeping reflecting on what God has been doing in his life. And he told me that he had not received Communion in five years. He went to confession and the next morning after all of them were Knighted – we went to Mass together in our T-shirts and as he passed by me to go in line for Communion he said, “Maestro, it’s time.” After Mass all of them were so excited. I had many of the teachers and others involved tell me, “They were all glowing! You could tell how happy they were! I’m so proud!” While I was at Mass surrounded by these young men of God in their new Knights apparel, I had to keep back the tears as I continually prayed to God, “Why do you trust me this much?” Because I realized how He had placed a huge responsibility of caring for their souls even if I am not trying to. I realized that what I say and what I do forms them and they look to me as an example. It’s scary but it’s amazing. But I am convinced, as Mother Teresa said, even God can use a broken pencil to write a love letter to the world.

And yet the mission continues. This Friday will be the 3^rd Form boys retreat. Next week I’ll be in charge of catechesis for all of the staff. Please pray for both!

October 2010

With a brief week visit to the US for a wedding in September, I have now been back in Belize 3 weeks. While I was in the States I had the blessing of being able to speak at a few Masses at my home parish and was able to raise $1,000 for the students at the parish down here who are trying to attend World Youth Day. The wedding was a great time and a wonderful reunion with family, friends, and family friends. Even though the week I was at home was completely separated and different from my life back in Belize, as soon as I returned back to Benque I got right back in the swing of things. I picked up exactly where I left off in all of my classes and I got right back into the flow of how things are run down here.


My classes are going very well. It is so nice to have the 3rd and 4th formers, because it means we can cover so much more material in much more depth and actually get into good discussion as opposed to most of my class being used to discipline as it was in my 1st form class last year (which is still the case from what I hear from all of the 1st form teachers). I have been busy, busy, busy trying to keep up with all the grades, lesson plans, course outlines, and side projects.

As of recent, the Knights of the Immaculate have certainly been picking up speed. More and more students have been expressing interest in joining. When we have initiation at our retreat November 6th, I believe we will have more than doubled – going from 7 members to about 20. The other night we had 16 high school boys show up for Mass and about half went to Confession. As I was praying as the sole gringo amongst 16 Belizean boys I was literally in awe that God would trust me so much – that He has placed me in charge of these kids’ souls! How unworthy I am and how humbled I felt that these kids would follow me. I was hit by the gravity that my actions and words have – it could literally affect these kids’ salvation. Lord I am not worthy to receive You in these kids, but only say the word and I shall be healed. Then we all went to dinner together (thanks to generous donations) and each one expressed how thankful they were for the forming of this brotherhood. It almost seems that every day this week I have had a student ask about joining the Knights and interestingly enough they are students who have recently gotten in some major trouble. I am very excited for what God is going to do.


This past Saturday, 3 Knights and 6 interested in joining showed up with us volunteer teachers to paint the pregnancy center in downtown Benque. They were very eager to help out. These kids amaze me!


Today was one of the best religion classes I have ever had – God just did His thing. I have been teaching the Theology of the Body to my fourth formers and today we were discussing “Fatherhood” and that each us learn a lesson from our dad – some good and some bad – about what it means to be a man and or what it means to be loved by a man. Yet with the love of God the Father we can experience healing. I had each of the students after watching a TV program on fatherhood write their fathers an open letter to how they feel about them. Many of these kids have grown up in fatherless homes or have been deeply hurt by their fathers. Yet during this exercise you could see that many of them were deeply affected and that the Lord started to heal many of them of past wounds. One male student wrote this…



Dear Father,
First of all let me tell you how much I love you. Thank you for all that you have done for me. I know that all you have done is because you love me, and that means so much for me. You can’t imagine how much it means. I know that our relationship has not been the best. And I’m not trying to blame you. You have to understand that as a father I expected more from you. Since I was born all I have experienced is pain, or at least that’s what I feel. Everything that mom and my sisters have gone through I feel like you had fault. Your addiction to alcohol has marked us. And many times I have cried on my own, without anybody knowing. Mom has been there for us always, but we have missed you very much. I understand the fact that you work and have to provide for us. But we also need your help, assistance, advice, guidance, and love, even more than the material. We always take mom’s side, but it is because we have had an absence of you in our lives. And sometimes I feel like I hate you; but in my heart I forgive you dad; because God has taught me how to. I would like you to spent more time with us, you don’t have to have a lot of money; you don’t even have to have any at all. All we need is your love. You always speak to me when you are drunk. But I would like to talk with you man to man, and not man to drunk. I would like you to change the way you treat me and everybody else. I sometimes get rebellious, and let me tell you that it is because of the way you treat me. If you would treat me a little bit better I would do everything you ordered me with a big smile. And you are also supposed to be advising me to the good. Help me dad. Help me be a good father to my future children and break the cycle. Talk to me. Love me! I love you!
Deep from my heart,
Student

Intense, huh?! And this is daily life for many of my students. It was beautiful to see how many of the students supported each other after this reflection, giving group hugs, and comforting one another through their tears. Many came up to me and gave me their letter to read even though I told them that I did not need to read it to grade it, yet many of them wanted to and gave me a big hug. It has been an amazing time and I do ask very much for your continued prayers. There is a lot of spiritual attack that has been hitting our students and our school in very visible ways and we need your prayers. I believe the reason that there has been so many spiritual attacks is because many of the students are on the verge of a major conversion of heart. These kids need so much healing and so much love that we could not possibly give them but only they could receive from God and so I ask from the bottom of my heart – flood heaven with your prayers for these kids. Thank you for your continued prayers and support! God bless you all!

Back in Belize

Hi!

I have been back in Belize for about a month and it has been great so far. I wanted to thank you all for your financial support and your prayers (keep the prayers coming!) This year I am teaching 3rd and 4th formers, which are like the juniors and seniors. I have many of the same students that I taught last year, which is so awesome to have them again. It is sad though because some students have stopped attending, have failed out, or had to transfer to another school so there are many kids whom I miss.

A few differences this year: There is a new group of volunteer teachers, this year I teach co-ed classes so I have to learn all the girl’s names and how girls do things (for instance I now have journals with hearts and flowers and stickers), and I teach Old Testament to 3rd Form and Christian Marriage/Sexuality/Theology of the Body to 4th Formers whereas last year I mainly taught New Testament.

It was a rough anticipation for transition for teaching. I feared that I would forget how to do it and I stressed about planning. But as soon as I stepped into the classroom I realized that I did know what I was doing and that I do not need to worry as much as I did because God has equipped me for this work and He is the one who ultimately will do His work through me regardless, as long as I give my yes. So that is nice and peaceful to know that He’s got it under control.

So far my main adventures have been running with some of the students on weeknights around Benque, going fishing with a few students in Melchor de Mencos, Guatemala (fishing means getting a stick, getting rope with a hook, getting a shovel and digging in the ground for worms, and then throwing the line into the water) riding on the back of a motorcycle with a student,




going camping with a group of kids who are planning on going to World Youth Day with the parish (it was a blast to see how goofy they can sometimes be when they’re away from all the distractions).


The Knights (the guys group) has been getting slowly started up again. I think it will pick up soon though – this year I’m trying to include my students from Guatemala more by going there every other weekend for Mass. The guys in the group said that they wanted to say a whole Rosary instead of just a decade, they said they wanted more retreats, and to do more community service like buy presents for Christmas for kids in need. Needless to say, I am proud of my boys. I’m really hoping that more of my students will join.

Keep the prayers coming! They are very needed!

Dave

Podcast available on iTunes!

For those of you who might be interested. Here is a Podcast on the history and culture of Belize along with my life as a lay missionary with the Society of Our Lady of the Trinity at Our Lady of Mount Carmel High School in Benque Viejo del Carmen, Belize.

It's available on iTunes if you search "That All Might Belize"

or go here:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=386549944

or go here:

http://thatallmightbelize.podbean.com/

You can download it and put it in your iPod or burn it to a CD and listen to it on your way to work or whathaveyou...

God bless! School year 2010-2011 STARTING SOON!!!!

May 2010

It has been quite a while since I have updated anyone on how Belize has been going. That is due mostly to the fact that this semester has been difficult in various ways. I think everything dramatically changed in my prayer life which then made everything else change as well. It's very easy to get caught up in the “busy”ness of life. With lesson plans, papers, tests, quizzes, homework, assignments, it can become very difficult to balance everything in the proper order. Thinking that I simply do not have enough time to really take time out of my day to pray. This resulted in more disorder, more stress, more negativity, gossip and I thought that the way to balance it out was to spend more time grading and preparing and then having more free time for myself, however, this was not the case. Only by spending time with the Orderer, Himself, can our life even begin to have any order.

I still made time for daily Mass, which for sure kept me afloat from sinking, but when it came to going into that inner sanctuary where our restless hearts can truly rest, I thought myself too busy with too many things to do. How foolish and stupid I have been. Here is one example: I'm a religion teacher and I have a curriculum of things I need to teach before the end of the year. At certain times, the campus minister has our class go to Adoration with our class cutting our teaching time in half. At times I would feel FRUSTRATED BY THIS?! What in the world am I thinking?! I thought “Dang it, we have adoration every other week and I don't know if I'll have enough time to teach everything that I want to.” HELLO! Where do I come up with such non-sense?! To think that I could teach something to these kids about Jesus that would be more important than spending time face-to-face with Him in the Blessed Sacrament?! How could I be so naïve? I realized that I was thinking as the world does and I realized that I was becoming like an ordinary teacher, but God does not desire ordinary people with ordinary jobs, but saints with vocations.

The only way we can become saints is by prayer which turns darkness into light, ordinary into extraordinary, human to divine. Without prayer, anything we do will not have any lasting presence. Despite my failings, I know that God has continued to work in and through me in various ways because even though I have said no to Him in so many ways, He has allowed my yes to come down here to Belize to re-echo throughout everything I do. There have been so many blessings of this semester. The blessing of Franciscan University coming down to spend time with my students, to teach them, to get to know them, and to pray with them. It was amazing to see my students get prayed over and have them reflect on their experience which for many of them was the first time anyone has ever prayed WITH them. I could see changes in them and I have continued to see changes in them. Easter down here is absolutely huge. Every single night of Holy Week there is a huge procession with “undes” which are huge floats that weigh a lot with either Jesus and Mary on top.

They process them throughout the town and pray. On Good Friday, the whole town participated in a Passion play and then that night there was a huge “unde” which was enormous. I believe it weighed 1 and a half tons and was carried throughout town by 200 men. On the streets throughout the town were “alframbas” which were carpets made of different color dyed sawdust with beautiful designs that took hours to be made only to be destroyed later that night by the procession of the “unde.”What was so encouraging was a student who told me “I have really begun to understand everything we do this week a lot more thanks to your class.”


Throughout this semester I had the opportunity to travel with the guys soccer team where they won a National Catholic tournament, that was a blast!


I also went to Antigua, Guatemala where I rode my first horse up a volcano and saw flowing lava.Yesterday was Fun Day, where we played sports with the students and competed against each other to try to win. There was a section where a bunch of people were dancing, and I, being my normal crazy self, began swing dancing in the middle with Ms. Iliana and I can honestly say I have never heard anything louder in my life. It was so funny because the students only see my “serious” side and when they saw that, they were so funny.

In fact, a student who I have been teaching since August, invited me to go to one of their ranches only after that. I thought that was funny. Over Easter break, a group of teachers and I went to Placencia, where I went snorkeling and saw a barracuda, a sea turtle, a sting ray, a spotted eagle ray, and others saw a nurse shark. It was pretty awesome. But nothing makes me happier than entering into my classroom and having students great me with a “hey Mr. Brokke!” “Maestro!” and a fist-pound. They are the coolest kids I have ever met and I love them with everything I am. I only desire that they know God and that somehow I have reflected His face to them. I only hope that somehow what I have taught them will bring them into that communion of intimacy with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – that never ending burning Love that burns, yearns, and thirsts to spend time with them. I am continually amazed at their childlike innocence despite their situations. I have seen so much in one year than I ever could have imagined. Students that have been cutters, students involved in pot and alcohol, students that have been sexually active, students addicted to porn, a student that was attacked by a gang, a student that survived her parents trying to abort her, a student that is the result of incest, a student with cancer, students that have been involved with the occult and witchcraft, students that have been abandoned, students who's parents have died, a student who's father is a murderer, a student who has been raped, a student who once was kidnapped, students verbally abused by their parents, a student physically abused and the list goes on. But they are the most beautiful kids I have ever met and I love each and every single one of them, which is why I have decided to stay another year at the mission. I will be going home for the summer (June 12th) and then I will come back in August to teach another year at Our Lady of Mount Carmel. I am very excited to be able to have this opportunity. There will also be a group of students trying to go to World Youth Day in Madrid 2011.

Any and all help would be greatly appreciated. But most of all, I would encourage you all to keep praying for the students but also to really keep praying for the teachers and their sanctity as well that we might be effective role models of holiness that will truly show them the face of Christ in our daily encounters with them. Thank you so much for your support throughout this year. I love you all and God bless you all!

February 2010

1st semester has come and gone along with tests, quizzes, and exams. As a whole my classes did really well. 71 students passed my class out of 80 for the first semester. Then Christmas break came and I had the glorious opportunity to go home. It was such a relaxing break. I spent most of my time just with the family and it was probably one of my most low-key breaks I have ever had - which was good because I needed it. Many people asked me how it was to be back home after experiencing such a vast difference of culture, economic status, language, living conditions, etc... and the weird thing was that it was not weird. It felt normal to be back home except for the fact that it felt like the past 4-5 months of my life were just a dream. But I know they were not. Others asked how I felt being around material things, expensive things, comfortable things.

Being in a foreign country on mission is very different than a week mission trip to a foreign country. The attitude one comes out of it with is much different. In the past going to places like Jamaica and coming back I was filled with a misplaced zeal that constantly echoed in my head "to cleanse America's attachment to material things." But I realize now I had completely missed the point. It was not that I had to cleanse America's attachment or even anyone else's, but my own. I now realize that the zeal I felt was not for everyone else to be purified, but myself - in realizing what things are actually important and what things are extraneous in my own life, in realizing how much everything is a gift and a grace from God and not something I deserve, in realizing that everyone in my daily routine life at home should be treated with the same love that I had given to complete strangers, and in realizing that I should be just as concerned about those I see in everyday routine life, concerned about their problems, their hurts, their brokenness, their desire to be loved, their thirst for love, their hunger for love, and above all concerned about their salvation. For some reason when you're on mission, you're able to see those things in a much clearer way but once back in "reality" of routine life it's easy to forget those things and caught up with honestly, very stupid and trivial things. Belize has taught me so much and when I went home, I really wasn't distracted by the comforts and luxuries of home, I just saw them in a different light, I saw them not as something bad that I needed to get rid of, but rather as gift. Everything is gift. I became so appreciative of all that my family has done for me and sacrificed for me so that I could have a good life.

I became so appreciative of all those who have encouraged me along the way, friends, parents of friends, teachers, classmates, colleagues, and family. I LOVED being home. I LOVED being with my family. But there was something that was missing. Something that I didn't realize what it was until I came back to Benque - that I am meant to teach and that I am meant for ministry and evangelization. As soon as I stepped foot onto the school grounds and was greeted by smiling faces of my students calling out "Hey Maestro!" I knew I am where I am supposed to be for now. We had a group from New York come in to all of our religion classes for the first week back and it was so funny to watch. One, how concerned I was to make sure that this group wouldn't say anything that would scandalize my kids, I felt so protective of them, and Two, how the kids did not seem to trust them as much as they trusted us missionaries who had been there for a while. They for sure treated us the same way when we first came, but it has been amazing to see the progression in relationships with these students - because they have been opening up to us in new ways and I think are beginning to realize that we are here because we love them and that love is changing them.

Teaching has been fun and it is one of the most wonderful things to be able to see your students actually learning. I strategically set up my classes in ways that my students would begin to see connections between the Old Testament and New Testament and it has been awesome to see my students raise their hands with a look of wonder and awe at the fact that they finally get it... "so Jesus is the New Moses?!?!" I am very excited for things still to come in my classes. It is truly amazing to see the child-like faith of these kids and to really see how much they desire to become men of God. A student wrote in their journal, "Mr. I want you to pray for me to be a good boy and to stop doing bad things because I don't want to be like that. I want God to help me to be a different person in this world. I want to forget bad things and to know good things of God. I want to pray to do good in high school also to have more power to continue in high school. Because I want to graduate from here. Please Mr. help me to be a different boy I don't want to be a bad boy and I want to stop doing things that are not good. Please Mr. help me, thanks." Another student wrote, "I would appreciate much if you would pray for my study because I want to very good and pass to the next form and keep studying so that I may have a better future also I would love if you would pray so that God change my life so that I may follow Him and understand that He is the way to the eternal life. Pray for family so that all problems may be taken out by God and that I may have a better character. Thanks for all that you do for the class. I appreciate that you care about us. I will be praying for you too. Thank you."

One of the most amazing things thus far was the fact that one of my student's grandfather passed away. I cancelled my classes for the day and went to attend the wake and the funeral. As his family gathered in his living room in front of the casket and prayed a Rosary - I began to realize how much responsibility I have. I am responsible for these kids' souls - for teaching them, for forming them, for loving them. The look of appreciation that the student gave to me when he saw I was there was intense for I realized that I have a much bigger role in these kids' lives then I could ever have imagined.

Recently I held a retreat for guys who are interested in joining a club that will encourage them to practice their faith together known as the Knights of the Immaculate. I told them nothing about the retreat but 9 guys showed up. Unbeknownst to them, the secretary and I called their parents and asked them to write a letter expressing how much they loved them and how much they were proud of them an appreciative of them - things Bequenos do not speak of too often. It was awesome to see them read their letters and their reactions - many cried because of the love that they had felt. One student came up to me and asked, "Mr. who wrote the letter that said "your mother and your father'"" and I said "Your mom and your dad." In disbelief his eyes got really big. "But Mr. are you sure it was them?" and he showed me the envelope and I said "Yes, that is the envelope your dad gave me." Again in disbelief he looked as if he was holding back the tears. "What?" I asked, "Mr. they don't know how to write." "Well, I guess they found someone help them." He was in shock. Then I surprised all of them yet again with T-shirts.

They all looked so happy and had a glow about them and together, in our awesome T-Shirts we all went to Mass together. Then I received this letter... "Hola Mr. David, I just wanted to let you know that I applaud your effort you are giving into the young men's youth group, "Knights of the Immaculate." It takes courage for young men today to do this especially in our Belizean society. This is the first time since I have been at Mount Carmel that there has been something like this. I am most especially thankful for the change you have made in the life of my son. He has had his fair share of sadness in his tender age. Growing up without his daddy and and me always being so far away from home working in trying to make ends meet has been tough on him. I don't know what you have been doing in your classes with these young men but I sure know its great things because you have made a difference in his life. So for this I would like to extend a big thank you."

Needless to say, mission has been going amazingly. Why do I write you these great things that are happening? Not at all to boast but it goes back to what I said before - Everything is gift. Everything that I give, is not my own, I can only give what I have received. Everything that I give, it is because I have received it. I may not even be here now if it weren't for the fact that you all have supported me through prayers, through monetary support, but most of all through love. We all have received and received and received and it is all grace and gift, sown by someone else, watered by another, and harvested by another. These fruits of conversion that I see are because someone else has sown, others have watered - the only way I am here now is because others have sown, others have watered, but most of all because people like you and people before you LOVED. Everything is gift - be open to receive it and be ready to give it away. "What do I do with all of this LOVE?" and He answered, "Give it away, give it away, give it away!"


Continue to keep us in your prayers. If you could offer any Masses, Rosaries, Holy Hours, quiet times, Bible reading, suffering, sickness, pain, etc... for the mission, trust me, it will produce fruit. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

November 2009

Hello Everyone!

It’s been a while since you heard from me last. I am writing you to keep you updated on mission life down here in Belize. So much has happened and yet not much at all has happened. Life here is very simple and repetitive so in that sense – as far as what we as missionaries have been doing it’s pretty much “the same old.” We wake up, go to school, teach, eat, teach, eat, go to Mass, maybe Holy Hour too, lesson plan, hang out, go to bed and do the same thing over again the next day. But in a very real sense, we have seen mountains move in the lives of these kids in the very simple things.

From retreats, to teaching in class, to journal entries done by the students, we have witnessed how much these kids thirst for the Beauty, Truth, and Goodness of God. They want it so bad and so many have taken gigantic leaps in their faith in order to try to seek Him For Whom Their Soul Longs: Confession, receiving the Eucharist, and admitting that they need God in their life. The thing about these kids is that they are so childlike and innocent in their faith. They are not tainted by the skepticism and bitterness that you can find in American teenagers today. These kids have childlike faith and HOPE that I have not seen before. Their lives are surrounded by so much darkness but still there is a light that pervades within them. Many of my students have had their fathers abandon them, abuse them, commit adultery, some of their fathers have been killed or died, some of their fathers have even committed murder. Many of my students are easily caught up in the culture of sex, drugs, violence, and alcohol, but none of them are in any sense of the word “bad kids.” They are deeply, deeply good and some how remained unscathed by the torrents and tempests around them in their simplicity and innocence.

They want so badly to receive the Joy Without End but have many obstacles in their way… lack of support, encouragement, and love from those whom they need it from the most. But still they try. The crazy thing is how much each of our hearts burn with such a zeal and love for these kids and nothing makes my heart rejoice more than when I see them take these steps of faith. I have often thought, “If only these kids knew how much I loved them…” to which God quickly responded “I feel the same way...” It is really amazing to see the students that are starting to understand why we’re really here… there’s a light in their eyes, a HOPE. One of the miracles that I have seen is over the past week we had a retreat for 67 of literally the most wildly hyperactive and at times disrespectful teenage boys. I was worried at first. But I have never seen them behave so well, I have never seen them listen to people so intently. I have never seen them take the steps of faith that they did. Many of them went to Confession and many more went to receive Communion (which they often do not do) – even some of our most notorious trouble-making students were those who went to Confession and received Communion. It was a miracle. Another beautiful thing that I have seen is that I started a club called the Knights of the Immaculate which is an opportunity for the young men that I teach to pray together (15 minutes of Adoration, decade of the Rosary, Mass on Sunday) and the first time we had 8 guys, 2nd time we had 12 guys, and many more have expressed a genuine desire to become involved. It’s so exciting!

I have also had the opportunity to go with my friend Victor and his family to Placencia.

It was so beautiful there and it has been such a blessing to have found such a great friend in him and his family! Besides that we have seen some peoples’ lives change dramatically simply due to the love of God working in and through us. The work is not ours it is His: to Him be the glory! Thank you so much for your continued prayers. I have a favor to ask of you though:
if you have the opportunity to offer up a Holy Hour, a Rosary, and/or a day of fasting for our students and the community down here once a month that would be INCREDIBLE!

October 2009

It’s been quite some time since you’ve heard from me last. A lot has happened since I last talked with you. I survived my first month of Belize and my first month of teaching. It’s hard to believe it’s already been a month but then again it’s hard to believe it’s only been a month. I have learned so much already and there’s still so much for me to still learn. I’ll give you a brief synopsis of things that have happened thus far. My first week of school was welcomed with a surprising amount of ease and peace. The moment I stepped into the classroom it all just seemed so natural and made a lot of sense.

It’s truly amazing to see how many different experiences in my life prepared me for this moment to be able to teach here in Belize: from mission trips to classes at Franciscan from catechizing the youth of Totus Tuus in Denver, Colorado to Y-Camp… each of these experiences had a part to play in preparing me for Belize and it's beautiful to see these pieces fit together to have made my transition down here so easy and natural feeling (not to mention all the prayers and intercessions that people have offered up for me and my fellow missionaries). The priests here are incredible and the Belizean staff at the school is fantastic. They are so hospitable and welcoming – it wasn’t hard to feel included. And the whole focus of the school is “the salvation of souls.” Amen!

The thing I love most about teaching is for sure my students. Honestly I hold each one in my

heart and they all have the ability to easily melt it. (They all call me “Maestro” which pulls at my heart strings every time). It’s crazy that these kids who I had never met before, I loved the second I walked into the classroom. Some are so little and adorable and the thing that really amazes me is the simplicity, sincerity, childlikeness and openness of their faith. I teach one class of freshman boys, two classes of sophomore boys, and one class of junior boys (with the exception of two girls). I love my guys, especially my sophomores. They absolutely crack me up and constantly have me laughing (at least internally).

Discipline has been no simple issue, it for sure has had challenges, especially because I have no idea what I’m doing but it is funny to see me become like my parents and teachers who have disciplined me in the past (“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” etc…) After I act all tough and “teachery” I go to the teacher’s lounge and laugh at how I tried to act authoritative and like I knew what I was doing but deep down I have no idea what I’m doing – then I realized “Wow, this is probably what my parents and teachers felt the first time they had to discipline” – Huge realization to come to that, "wow just because you’re an adult does not mean that you have all the answers" as I once thought.

Growing up is tough! I realize I’m only good at being young but I’m trying my best at this “adult” thing… I felt really old when they said we would have parent teacher conferences and I would speak with the parents of some of my students – I’m too young to do that! I felt even older when some of my students said they were born in 1995 (Lion King came out that year!) And I’m sure those reading this who once taught me or remember when I was young are flipping out at the fact that I’m a teacher (but heck I’m flipping out at the fact that I’m a teacher, for the first week I had to ask “Is this real life? Am I really a teacher or am I just playing teacher?”) But my third week of teaching rolled around and a student of mine came up to me and said “you know what Maestro, you look like a teacher!”

I love teaching the faith. It’s great to see my students begin to comprehend and apply the things they have learned. One day of teaching on the Fall and Redemption through Christ, one student came up to me and said “That is why I have hope!” Other students have written the most beautiful prayers and reflections on things they have learned. God has done so much already – I’m excited to see what else He has in store. The beautiful thing is living down the street from the church and being able to go to Mass daily. Because in the end teaching is not my vocation – Jesus is. In the end – it’s not about me and it’s not about my lessons – it’s all about Him and if I do not have Him – I cannot give Him to others. I just hope that I am able to be His hands, His feet, and able to speak His words.

Some other highlights thus far: I got E. Coli (along with the majority of the other missionaries), Belize has had two major holidays including St. George’s Caye Day and their Independence Day which were celebrated by huge parades in the street, a group of us missionaries went to Flores, Guatemala for a weekend to relax,
I’ve made friends with a lot of the little kids in the area and I sometimes have visitors at my front door asking “Can Mr. Dave come out and play?,” I went floating down the Mopan river, I met up with my friend from St. Ignatius High School Selvin, school is cancelled sometimes for strange reasons, I went to my first Belizean birthday party where I had the privilege of dancing in the Chatona (a huge scary doll woman that you wear and dance around in for entertainment), and I have become really great friends with the IT guy at our school, Victor – probably one of the coolest people I’ve ever met and we chill pretty much every night. So to sum it all up – Belize is wonderful. Please continue to keep me, my fellow missionaries, the people I’ve met, but most of all my students in your prayers!

August 2009

Hey Everyone!
I hope that you all are doing well! I wanted to thank you all so much for your prayers! They are much appreciated and I can already see the effects they have had. I left Monday, August 17th and flew from Baltimore to Houston. While I was at BWI Airport I was standing in line for the security check and then…. I see him. brown shoes, green shorts, beige shirt, green hat hiding his bald head and his blue eyes... I couldn't stop starring... it was him! it was him! holy cow it was him! I know that face and figure anywhere! So excited that I saw him I kept looking behind me to see if it was really him... then I get on my plane and what do you know, there he is sitting in the first row of first class! Flabbergasted I smiled and nodded, and he smiled and nodded back knowing that I knew his identity while others around him did not... there he was the infamous JOHN LOCKE from my FAVORITE TV show LOST!!! The whole flight I imagined crashing on the island and having conversations with him and the other survivors and LOST cast members! I was really excited by that experience and it was totally a loving joke from God as a “You see, you really are supposed to do this, here’s a funny present that I know you’ll enjoy to show you how much I AM happy with your ‘yes’”

So later on that day… I met up with Iliana Bazan (San Antonio, Texas, went to Franciscan), a fellow missionary, at the Houston Airport and happened to be sitting unknowingly next to Emily Green (Minnesota, went to University of Minnesota), another missionary. The three of us flew to Belize City, Belize and met up with Brynne Olsen (San Diego, California went to Franciscan), another fellow missionary. At the airport we met up with Sister Mary Mother of the Divine Savior, SOLT and Brother Michael Mary, SOLT who drove us to the quaint town of Benque Viejo del Carmen where we would be stationed. We arrived at the Parish Mission to eat dinner at the refectory where all of our meals are prepared for us everyday. The other missionary volunteers we met there were Rebecca Ignowski (Kansas went to Benedictine), Karen D’Souza (Toronto, Canada went to Saint Thomas Aquinas). Then we went to Spanish Mass followed by being taken to our houses where we started to unpack and make our homes away from home a little more homier. Our houses are considerably big and are fairly nice.
The guys weren’t coming until later and so I moved into my house all alone. There are a few surprises here and there, mostly discovering new “housemates” I didn’t know I had, but it’s not that bad. Over the past week we had teacher orientation with workshops on discipline, lesson planning, the Mass, and Natural Family Planning. The people here are so welcoming and the priest who oversees everything is awesome! Its great to see a Catholic school that has kept to its Catholic identity and actually strives for the salvation of the souls of its students. It has been great to see the Belizeans whom I had met before. Some of my favorites: Harry Topsey, Byron Hernandez, Gian Parham, and Charlie from the ice cream store… I’ve been the sole male this past week but as of last night my housemate Patrick Helfrick (went to Benedictine) came in and tomorrow is due my new housemate Jed Kenny (from Louisville, Kentucky). Yesterday we had a staff trip to have team building exercises at Chaa Creek, a five star resort hotel (about 15 minutes away). It was absolutely gorgeous there. Bungalows, a pool with a waterfall, a message station and definitely the lifestyles of the rich and famous. There we played games and bonded with the Belizean staff.

The weather is warm and I love it. Its 86 – 93 degrees everyday and sometimes at night… There is no air conditioning and I’m sweating constantly but fans and the occasional breeze make it better.

This year is going to be busy, busy, busy. I am in charge of teaching Religion for 1st Form Boys, 2nd Form Boys, and 3rd Form Boys and Girls, which is comparable to Freshman boys, Sophomore boys, and co-ed Juniors. I teach 1st and 2nd form four-times-a-week and I teach 3rd form three-times-a-week, which means that I have to do 11 lesson plans a week which adds up to 362 lesson plans for the whole year. Let’s just say – I have my work cut out for me. I’m excited to start and get my hands dirty but still a bit nervous on the whole discipline and classroom management issue, especially when all the Belizeans shake my hand and say “Good luck!” whenever I tell them I have 1st Form Boys. I will also be a 1st Form Homeroom teacher for girls. It should be interesting and it will be fun to be the “teacher” but really I feel like I’m the student learning everything anew and continually having a deeper appreciation for the teachers I’ve had. Keep me in your prayers!

Your prayers have really made a huge difference because experiences that I am usually intimidated by have all seemed normal and for some reason even walking in the streets and around the town has all seemed so peaceful. Thanks so much! Keep up the prayers especially during this time that school starts MONDAY! God bless!

Dave