Knights in the USA: 2012

Slideshow of the trip to the United States.

Anthony talks about his experience.

Johann talks about his experience on LEAD.

Knights in the USA: Day 4 - Found in Translation

Monday, June 13^th we woke up to have breakfast, but by the time 11:45am rolled around we were on our way to have noon Mass at Our Lady’s Center in Ellicott City. Here I was faced with an interesting question, “Mr. are all the priests in Baltimore Africans?” I laughed, but from what they observed in the two days they had been to Mass in the States it did seem to be true. Up until that point they had never thought of the United States as mission territory. After Mass we went for a round of Bowling at Brunswick Zone. For the first few times, one group had the kiddie bumpers up and so they thought bowling was one of the easiest things they had ever done, once I asked the attendant to put them down, they were quickly humbled. Each spent time gaming in the arcade and naively fishing for prizes with a mechanical claw. We left for an appointment that we had at the Franciscan Friary of St. Anthony’s to have an interview with ChristLife for a podcast about my experience as a missionary and their experience with me as a teacher. It was fun to be able to hear them answer questions about their experience thus far and also very humbling to hear how they think of me. After our interview, we spent some time praying and reflecting on the grounds of the beautiful Franciscan Monastery. Reminiscent of the beauty and simplicity of Assisi, the Franciscan Friary was a beautiful place of peace for the boys as they journaled in the chapel. From there we went to a friend of my dad’s who had spent some time as a Jesuit volunteer in Orange Walk in Belize who had married a lady from Mexico. The house was very large and beautiful, complete with a basketball court, tennis court, pool, indoor racketball court, hot tub, and lap pool. The boys loved the house and the facilities, but what they loved even more was being able to speak Spanish with his wife and his wife’s friends. You could see a light in their eyes as they began to speak in Spanish, it was a feeling of home and of being comfortable with their surroundings. I think it was helpful in letting them discover their identity of who they are and where they come from. A lot of times people do not appreciate what they have until it is gone or until they miss it. It is in those moments you discover and find out who you really are. They were finding out who they really were. They are Belizeans. It was great for them to also meet kids around their own age. David and Louis had formed a friendship, while Jose, Emil, and Johann enjoyed teasing Rosie about Justin Bieber. After jumping and splashing in the pool, pegging each other with racketballs, and playing tennis, we enjoyed smores from the fire pit – their first ever taste of this American delectable treat. We ended the night with Liturgy of the Hours.

Knights in the USA: Day 3 - Making Memories of Baltimore

That Sunday June 12th we went to Mass at my parish St. Agnes in Catonsville. I think it was a great opportunity for them to experience the universality of the Catholic Church in that everywhere there is a Catholic Church there is the same Mass with the same readings as in Benque Viejo del Carmen. This helped them feel at home even away from home. We then got ready for the Orioles Major League Baseball game against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. My dad and I escorted all seven guys to the Orioles game where they each received a free orange O’s hat. They were excited to be able to experience a professional baseball game. Even though the O’s lost that game, they had a great time in the baseball atmosphere with the huge stadium, with the chants, the cheers, the wave, and even a homerun. In a short amount of time, these Belizeans had become Orioles fans. When the game had finished, we headed down past Ravens stadium where they each made sure to touch the foot of the bronze statue of Johnny Unitas. We then made our way to my sister’s house for dinner. There my sister Alison, her husband Pete, my nephews Michael and Matthew, my Aunt Patricia, my Uncle Mike, and my cousins Amanda and Jayne eagerly awaited meeting the Belizean boys. We had a cookout with games. In the backyard alley, the boys held a relay race for fun, where they each ran barefoot showcasing their amazing speed. They were all beginning to bond with different members of my family, but one particular bond warmed my heart: Rolfy and my two year old nephew Matthew. There was a special connection between the two, perhaps it was that Rolfy could detect the mischievousness in Matthew or perhaps that Matthew could detect the mischievousness in Rolfy, whatever the case, these two hit it off. They chased each other and teased each other. It was something to behold. We played a game of Guesstures or charades, which was a blast, but when it was time to go the boys were not ready to go home to sleep. So I took them to downtown Baltimore to be enchanted by the lights of Baltimore at night reflecting upon the waters of the Inner Harbor. I marched them up Federal Hill urging them not to look back until we had reached the top of the hill. When they finished climbing the steps, they turned right and then they lifted up their heads to be awed by the lights of an American city shimmering in the distance. This was the place that so many of my nights in high school were spent, now I was able to share those moments with my own students in a much more personal way. In my heart I knew that I was creating for myself and for them new memories that would be forever remembered.

Knights in the USA: Day 1 & 2 - Dogs, Drinks, Dolphins, and Dreams Come True

I apologize for having taken so long to update this blog about my many Belizean adventures, but with the Knights’ trip to the United States this past summer, it seemed to be a daunting task to write a reflection on it because no words seemed adequate to express exactly what happened and what has been on my heart. But I will try my best. After months of planning, thousands of dollars raised, and visas being approved, 7 Knights of the Immaculate travelled from Benque Viejo del Carmen to the border of Chetumal, Mexico. Daniel, David, Edvin, Emil, Johann, Jose, and Rolfy. There, some of them had their first experience of the modern world. We stopped at the mall for some food, where they begin to pull out their cameras taking pictures of the shopping centers and department stores. I knew they certainly were in for a culture shock. We then took an overnight bus from Chetumal to Cancun where some of them took their very first flight. You could see the excitement in their faces as the plane began to lift off the ground. They all leaned over to get a look out the window as we ascended higher and higher into the clouds.

When we eventually landed in Baltimore, after exiting the maze of Miami Airport, they were excited to meet my parents. My mom and dad greeted us there and guided us to where the car was parked. When we entered the elevator, Daniel’s eyes began to glow and widen on his first ever elevator ride. That day they came to my house with their eyes gaping open and their mouths ajar at the grandeur of an American home. That night they enjoyed re-living my high school years of playing pool, Guitar Hero, and watching TV on a big screen. My best friends Brendan, Mark, and Steve stopped by to meet them.

The next day, my brother Vern accompanied us as we went to downtown Baltimore for Little Italy’s St. Anthony’s Festival. Although it hadn’t started yet, the boys enjoyed walking through the neighborhood until they entered a few stores. It was funny to see them overly excited about what they could buy at clothing and Baltimore souvenir stores. There in the middle of Fells Point they saw their first ever poodle, which shook hands (Dogs in Benque are ugly, dirty, mangy, and are treated like animals instead of a family member, so needless to say they were very surprised). We ate lunch at the Hard Rock Café, where they had their first experience of free refills. They began to bombard me with questions. “What do you mean free refill?” “What if I get five refills? Is it still free?” “What if I get 100? Is it still free? Is there ever an amount that I will have to pay for it?” After each had 5-8 Cokes, we made our way to the Inner Harbor and to the Baltimore National Aquarium where essentially we saw sea animals that are from their neck of the sea. Here the sea creatures were behind glass that you can literally swim with off the coast of Belize, but yet most of them have not had the same opportunity to do that, so this was a treat for them. They smiled excitedly at the Dolphin Show as dolphins leaped and played with their trainers.

That night we had dinner with the Boffens and the Vidmars, family friends of mine, who had hamburgers and hotdogs authentically welcoming them to America. They played corn-hole or bag toss as well as ladder golf, while conversing with family and friends. After the day of fun, back at the Brokke home base we prayed Evening Prayer and reflected on their favorite part of the trip thus far. I was expecting to hear tales of seeing the city, the Aquarium, stores, airplanes, etc… but what I heard was tales of how much they enjoyed meeting the people I had grown up with and people who had helped them attain their dream of coming to the States. It was the people who had made their experience thus far enjoyable and I was so proud and delighted to hear their words of wisdom, that, and their humorous stories of trying to figure out how to make an automatic toilet flush at the Aquarium.

Knights Semester Retreat Fall 2011

The Knights of the Immaculate had their semester retreat at Chapel Hill on November 6^th and 7^th. We had 31 guys from the high school attend with 21 new Knights. It was awesome! Everyone loved it and they're all on a little retreat high right now and they're looking forward to the next one. The older Knights gave talks on Peer Pressure (Joseph Rivera), Chastity (Johann Castañedez), Confession (Edvin Martinez), the Eucharist (Emil Mendez), and the Importance of Brotherhood (Hector Pacheco). They all did a great job! Emil's talk on the Eucharist was amazing. Emil spoke about his experience at the youth conference this summer in Steubenville and it was so powerful. While talking about his powerful experience he began to tear up and you could feel the power of his words and everyone was affected by it. Then when they all got their letters from their parents and teachers, most if not all of them began to cry. They all had a very profound experience in front of the Blessed Sacrament and going to Confession. It was beautiful. Many of the older Knights helped pray over the new ones and it filled me with such pride and love. On Sunday they got knighted by Fr. Gerry and went to Mass. After Mass they shared about their experience and it was so amazing to hear what they had to say. Some said it was the best decision they had ever made was to come on the retreat. There is such a thirst for what is good, beautiful, and true in these young men. There is a need for a crusade of manliness and purity to bring about a renewal of masculinity in society, and this crusade is our work! There are now at least one or more Knights in every single classroom! We have 40 total Knights!

Holy Week 2011

Holy Week approached with all of its grandeur. Almost every night there was a procession: Our Lady of Sorrows on Holy Monday, the Encounter on Holy Tuesday, the Transfer of the Eucharist on Holy Thursday, the Passion play, and the Good Friday Procession. Teaching the Old Testament this year completely gave me a new outlook and perspective on these processions. At first I always thought they were a bit strange as they paraded a bunch of statues around town, but after I looked at them through the eyes of the Old Testament, they took on greater meaning. These processions gave the Catholics of Benque Viejo del Carmen an identity – it was a cultural manifestation of the Catholic Faith in Benque, it set them apart. What God was doing in the Old Testament might have seemed strange to an outsider – the spreading of blood to a doorpost, sprinkling blood on the people, circumcision, parading the ark of the covenant seven times around the walls of Jericho, the making of a bronze serpent, etc… but what God was doing was forming these people as His own. He was giving them their own culture, their own identity as the people of God. The other concept that comes into play is the concept of a “memorial.” A memorial to a Jewish person was much more than just having something that helps you remember what happened in the past, no, to a Jewish person a memorial was doing something similar or having something similar to an act that was done in the past but through that act those things of the past are made present. This I why every time Jews celebrate the Passover, they refer to it as happening “this night.” That memorial made that act of history present. This is why Jesus said at the Last Supper, “Do this in memory of me.” He was asking that the act of the Last Supper be done as a memorial so that every time you ate the bread or drank the cup you proclaimed and made present His death. So the Last Supper, the Passion, Death, and Resurrection are all made present at every single Mass. When the processions in Benque occur, and they parade a statue of Our Lady of Sorrows encountering Christ carrying His Cross in the middle of town, that act becomes present in the streets of Benque. Those graces of that moment are brought alive in our small little town. His saving acts are made present to us in that moment.

At Easter Vigil, four students were baptized and confirmed, and five received their First Holy Communion. This is testimony that Christ is still at work today. He is alive! He is Risen indeed! God continues to act and work in His people and make His presence known to His people. These students heard His call and they responded with grace to His invitation to enter into His family, into His Church. I had the privilege of becoming the padrino – or godfather – to two of the girls baptized. I was so blest and moved by what the Lord was doing in their lives. I felt instantly connected to them as they had living water poured over their heads to enter into Christ’s death and Resurrection. Tears ran down one of their eyes as sanctifying grace entered their soul. They wrote, “That night I was filled with joy and love!” He is Risen indeed!

March 2011

The week my family came into town was a week of refreshment. I was able to show off the beauty of the country that has become my second home. I was excited to hang out with my Dad, my brother, my sister, and my brother-in-law and to introduce them to my town, my fellow volunteers, but above all my students. We had a lot of much needed fun visiting Flores, Tikal, and San Pedro.

The following week was the yearly visit by the mission team from Franciscan University. It was great to have a week off from teaching and watch others reach out to my students in different ways. It was interesting to watch the students interact with these “strangers” who had come from the USA visit their classrooms. It’s funny to look at them and think of how I was one of them two years ago. I was amazed to see how my students had warmed up to me and formed a relationship with me and how they were still weary of these newcomers just as they were with me. The Friday Night Youth Night was a beautiful display of faith as the Lord began to work miracles in a lot of the kids’ lives. It’s so cool to have fresh and enthusiastic faces ready to serve and able to reach out to the kids I haven’t been able to reach out to. It is nice to be woken up from complacency which can often take place once you’ve become comfortable with your surroundings. The Lord surely worked through them in great ways. Not only uplifting the students, but also me.

The week after that was the week my good family friend came into town. It was cool to have someone more immersed into my life as a missionary rather than my life as a tourist. That week was a lot of fun showing her the ropes of Benque.

Somehow in the craziness of March I was still able to complete my distance learning master’s class even amidst all the hustle and bustle of three weeks of visitors. God truly performed a miracle in allowing me to complete this course.

After a semester of planning, the 4^th Form Retreat was underway. This retreat was an overnight co-ed retreat which was a risk but it proved to be well worth taking. The students all had so much fun and grew so much. During Adoration the students received letters from their classmates, their teachers, and their parents expressing their good qualities about them. Almost all of them were moved to tears. The Lord was doing awesome things in this 4^th Form Class. He was breaking down walls and uniting them together. It was beautiful to see how they all shared their experience of what happened on the retreat.

2nd Semester 2011, January and February

This semester has been filled with many ups and downs, twists and turns, yet it all continues to move forward in the same direction. Its hard to sum up everything that has happened over the past five months because so much has happened and yet it seems as if everything remains the same. Our lives are so hectic and busy, and yet so plain and ordinary. Yet in the midst of all the monotony and everything mundane, through the ordinary God has done the extraordinary. Amidst all the madness and confusion, God brought stability.

The beginning of this semester began with the tragic news that one of Mount Carmel’s former students had committed suicide. This sent out a big shockwave throughout the community of Benque. It especially affected my former homeroom, the class she was in. I will never forget the day that I and my former homeroom approached her house as we heard the wailing and moaning of her grieving mother. Everyone who heard it felt her pain. I didn’t want to go inside, I didn’t know what to do or say to a mother who had lost her child. I was terrified, but because I am called “teacher” I had to pretend to know what I was doing and that I was not afraid. We went in and paid our respects. To see the pain of a mother in so much grief twisted one’s heart into knots enough to wring tears out of one’s eyes. I’ve never understood Our Lady of Sorrows as much as I did at that point. I thought a lot of how Mary must have felt when she lost her only Son to such a horrible death. A dark cloud had descended upon Benque, over the next few weeks reports of more suicide and suicide attempts rolled in. It seemed as if crisis had taken over. Yet it was the community of faith that held everything together. Death and the Evil One had knocked on Benque’s door, but Benque with much grief responded with faith not by becoming focused on the evil surrounding it, but by ignoring it. There was a shift in thought that was necessary to happen in order to not give credit or attention to the Evil One. It is clear that those who were involved were longing for something more: they were longing for Love.

During the next month, my fourth form students were asked to apply everything that they had learned about that Love that everyone longs for in a chastity presentation that they would give to primary school students in the area. They were all so nervous and excited about how to make their presentation applicable to youngsters. It was beautiful to see because through learning how to teach it, they learned to believe what they taught and a transformation grew within them. Although they went to give presentations to help other students learn, it was really them who were learning and learning to Love. The excitement in their faces as they returned from their respective schools was contagious. It was clear that God was working in their hearts to teach them about the demands of true Love rather than the counterfeit form they are surrounded by.

New Podcast!

Check out the New Podcast from ChristLife. While 7 of my students and I visited the United States from June 10th - 21st, we had the opportunity to be interviewed by ChristLife about my life in Belize as a volunteer teacher and their experience of me as a teacher. Check it out!

Theology of the Body Exam

This was my favorite Fourth Form Exam Essay that I received. They are learning!

The two fundamental questions of the theology of the body are “What does it mean to be human” and “How can I lead a life that leads to happiness?” In order to answer the question, “What does it mean to be human?” We have to look at the 3 phases of humanity.

The first phase is our origin, which has three sub-phases, original solitude, original unity, and original nakedness. Original solitude means that man is unique in his own nature. God is spirit, He is immaterial and invisible. Animals are matter, they are material and visible. Man is alone in his nature because he is body and soul, matter and spirit, visible and invisible! Apart from that we have free will and the ability to love.

Original unity is simply the union of bodies. Male and females are made for each other. The male body does not make sense without the female body and the female body does not make sense without the male body. Just by look at the anatomy of a man we can see that he is meant to protect, give of himself, to start and initiate the act of love, pursue a woman and sacrifice himself for her. A woman on the other hand is meant to receive, she has a mystery to be revealed, a relationship to be pursued, and a beauty to be unveiled. She is one that receives life. It is also important to remember that we are a body, but also more than a body, we are a union of body and soul. We are meant to be united with God and our neighbor through the call of love because it is through love that we are united. Because we have been made in the image and likeness of God we are to become one with God and with our neighbor. The only way we can fulfill our humanity is to love.

Original nakedness is to see a person with true love, divine vision, to see each other as God sees us. With the gift of original nakedness one could be naked without shame because we were able to see each other as a gift. Remember that original innocence is when man didn’t know good from evil, so he was not able to lust. With original nakedness we know our call to love each other through our bodies as God loves us.

The second phase is our history. We now know that there is good and evil because in the beginning of time, when Adam and Eve were created, they soon fell. It is because our first ancestors disobeyed that we must now have the shame of being naked. Our eyes no more have divine vision. Adam and Eve covered themselves in shame as a self-defense against objectification. They did not see each other as gifts to love and be loved, but as objects to be used.We had fallen from grace. But the story doesn’t end there.

We were redeemed. God the Father sent His Son to redeem us. Jesus Christ became flesh and incarnated in Mary’s womb. In order to save us God had to sacrifice His own flesh to redeem us in the flesh. He did this when He was crucified. It is when Christ rises from the dead that our bodies are redeemed. Jesus came and death had been defeated. By Christ’s resurrection we get the gifts of the sacraments and the opportunity to go to heaven. The purpose of the sacraments is to receive God’s grace through our flesh in order to help us get to heaven when our bodies will be glorified. This is our destiny, we were meant for love. Our last destination as humans is to achieve a union with God and that union is in heaven. This is the Beatific Vision.

Now, in order to answer the question, “How can I achieve happiness?” We have to look at the Christian vocations. Vocations are meant to make a gift of ourselves to love others and serve them. We can either choose marriage or celibacy. Even if we choose any one of these, our vocation will always be to draw us into communion with God and each other. If we choose marriage, we make vows to love each other till death parts us. Basically we are sacrificing ourselves for the good of the other and we do it on our own will, with love and with a purpose. The purpose of marriage is to begin a family and to give forth new life through the gift of love. The purpose of marriage is not only to procreate, but also to achieve a union with your spouse and to lead your spouse to heaven.

Many people think that celibacy doesn’t fulfill what it means to mean to be a man or a woman, but it certainly does. A priest or nun have sacrificed their sexuality and have given it to God. They want to achieve a closer union with God here on earth, which is also the end goal of marriage. Celibacy still fulfills what it means to be a man or woman because they lay down their lives in sacrifice to serve, guide, protect, and give forth spiritual life. Priests lay down their lives to serve and love the Church. In Mass, he initiates love and life through the giving of the sacraments. Sisters also give spiritual life through their service, charity, and teaching. In their femininity they receive the love of Christ and tend to their spiritual children. They fulfill what it means to be man or woman because they are an opportunity to love.

In both of these vocations, they allow man to make a gift of himself in love, and only in giving yourself away can you find yourself and find true happiness.

Carmen Kotch, 4th Form

Top 20 of First Semester 2010!

There are so many blessings that we encounter over a semester. It’s hard to acknowledge them all, but here are my top twenty for the semester.

20. My Birthday – My birthday was made special by the 400 smiling faces singing “Happy Birthday” to me while I stood in the middle aisle of the church after Mass. Also an old student heard it was my birthday and he called a current student to let me know that he was going to treat me to dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Then one of the Belizean teachers had their wife bake me a cake. The volunteers also had a signed card for me and made a cake to celebrate.

19. Siddarth/Sanji/Zoe/Sandra – These adorably cute children always brighten my day when they’re around. Siddarth and Sanji are the son and daughter of Mr. Punjabi, the Math and Business teacher at the high school. Zoe is one of their friends and Sandra is the daughter of the custodian who works at our school. These four children are so joyful and so funny, coloring with them and playing games with them is always a treat.

18. Visiting two students at their house – One of my students was in a motorcycle accident in which he was banged up pretty bad. Another teacher and I made the point to go visit him at his house. He was very grateful for the visit – we were his first visitors. Another student was missing from class for 10 days. I knew that he was a student that had potential to drop-out. I took initiative to visit him and to make sure everything was okay. He was not planning on coming back to school, but through a little persuasion, he was back at school the next class day. These were two opportunities where I realized the impact we can make as a teacher.

17. Mountain Pine Ridge – the staff retreat in the middle of the mountains. The highlights were swimming in the pools, going to the Rio Frio Caves, and playing games with the volunteers.

16. Hurricane Richard – The electricity went out which means that we volunteers, who normally have nothing to do, had even less to do, but we make do with what we have and it ended up being a blast of playing games in the dark with flashlights and candles.

15. Theology of the Body Song Presentations – This was one opportunity where I realized that I have the potential to be a great teacher. The students had to present on a song in modern culture (“Soy Hombre” ~ Aventura, “Whatcha Say” ~ Jason Derulo, “Don’t Tell Me” ~ Avril Lavigne, “Mine” ~ Taylor Swift, etc…) and tell me whether it was a good example or a bad example of masculinity, femininity, sexuality, love, or lust. They did awesome with it! I was so proud of them!

14. St. Ignatius High School – Although I dreaded the thought of it. It was actually a blast and renewed my love for teaching as I entered into 6 different classrooms at a different high school to give a talk on God’s love. I saw some familiar faces from when I first visited on a week mission trip in March 2009 and I really connected with the kids there.

13. Los Finados – I never really appreciate All Souls Day until I celebrated it this year. It was absolutely beautiful as we processed in candlelight from the church after Mass praying the Rosary in Spanish to see a beautifully decorated, candlelit, and populated cemetery with families praying in remembrance of their deceased family members. Students made altars dedicated to praying for the faithfully departed. Families invited me to drink xpasha and eat bollos in honor of their family members.

12. Hanging out with Victor – Victor is my Belizean friend who is an IT teacher at the high school. He is such an awesome friend and I am so thankful for the many times I have hung out with him and just relaxed. School can get very stressful, but whenever I would go over to Victor’s to eat, watch TV, or have a drink, it always put my mind and heart at ease.

11. Market in Melchor – There have been many times when I have went over to Melchor de Mencos, Guatemala the border-town right across from us and have went to spend time with my students at the market place where they work. The market is so much fun. There are clothes from Hollister, Abercrombie, American Eagle, etc… (which explains why my students are way more stylish than I) and this is where my students work. On the other side of the stalls are the houses of my students and it’s amazing to experience the hospitality that they have to offer. When I visit they make sure to take out chairs for me to sit and to offer me Pepsi or cola.

10. Christmas Celebrations with Volunteers - Because we are always looking for a reason to celebrate when there’s not much to do, we do holidays big. This Christmas we made a bunch of snowflakes and hung them from the ceiling, made a paper life-size Christmas tree, had Yankee Swap, and Secret Santa.

9. Halloween Party with Volunteers – we all dressed up and invited a few Belizean teachers to come join us. It was a masquerade fiesta as we had the 80’s, a Twister board, a Coke bottle, a mobster, a biker girl, Ursula, a pumpkin, a 50’s girl in a poodle skirt, a gypsy, a Islamic woman, and a Jedi. The dancing was fun!

8. Fishing in Melchor – One day, I was asked to go with a bunch of students to go fishing with them in Melchor, Guatemala. One student drove their jeep to the place where we would fish. We “fished” with a stick, fishing line, a hook, and we had to look for the worms. Later they decided to put chicken necks on the line, but they had to go buy them. Their jeep ended up getting stuck for three hours in which we pushed and shoved and dug. It was hilarious! To top it off, they drove me back to the border on my very first motorcycle ride.

7. San Pedro – One of the three day weekends, the volunteers made sure to get out of good ole mundane Benque to go to La Isla Bonita – San Pedro on Ambergeris Caye. It’s so beautiful out there! We stayed at a resort for super cheap through a connection that someone had. We had great food and a great time!

6. Day on the Ranch – I was asked to go hang out with some of my former student’s on their ranch in Guatemala. We drove out there and there we cooked steak on a stick and then rode a horse. It was a lot of fun to hang out with them and have quite the adventure.

5. Mr. Mai’s – We were invited to lay cement for one of the teacher’s house. There we mixed the cement and laid it down, then after all the hard work – we went for a relaxing swim down the river making fun pit-stops along the way.

4. Flores and Tikal – Another three-day weekend rolled around and a few of us had a much-needed vacation to Flores in Guatemala. The beautiful island on the Lake Peten Itza. We sang karaoke, went souvenir shopping, ate delicious food, and enjoyed the view and each other’s company. Later we went to Tikal, which is a huge Mayan ruin site which is absolutely amazing. There we met two amazing people, Adam and Kate, who are biking to raise awareness for Autism. Later we met up with other volunteers and took a boat tour around the lake.

3. Third Form Girls Retreat – Was a great opportunity to get to know and show my support for the girls that I teach in the third form. It was so clear that God had so much healing for the girls on this retreat and it was beautiful to see them be so receptive to God’s love.

2. Skit – There was a welcome assembly for the first formers and the teacher’s decided to put on a skit in which we dressed up like the students and acted like them. Then we broke out into the Cupid Shuffle in front of all 400 students who erupted into smiles, laughs, and screams.

1. Knights of the Immaculate Retreat – This was such a huge blessing of the semester in which I saw God do such mighty things in the men who were open to the power of the love of God and it helped me grow in fellowship with them.

Mid-November and December

The thing about missionary life is that it is still life. And because it is still life, it has the same challenges, same habits, same vices, same problems, and same tendency to complacency to overcome as in non-missionary life. Things can go very well when on mission, so much so that you are amazed that God has called you to such an incredible privilege and opportunity that it brings you to such complete joy. However, so much of mission is ordinary. So much of it is same old, same old. There is so much routine one can often times become complacent in going through the motions again and again, day in and day out, that one can easily lose focus on what everything is really all about. See I told you it’s still life. And when that happens, God loves to throw a curveball to mix things up a bit. When you expect things to continue to be amazing and beautifully providential, not because of your faith or trust in God, but because that’s just how things have gone, why wouldn’t it continue? You take for granted the many blessings you have encountered and you almost forget to count your blessings because you’re used to them. And you almost come to expect them because you somehow come to believe that you, yourself, are responsible for them. And that is when everything flings out of control. At times it can cause one to seriously doubt everything, but only through that dark period of doubt can one come to realize the true meaning behind everything. This needs to happen in order to remind one that everything is a gift. We do not earn anything, we do not deserve anything, we should not expect anything. Everything that we receive is a gift that is undeserved and unwarranted. This is something of the beauty and generosity of God, which is why every now and again we need a wake-up call to remind us of this truth – that we are nothing and that God is everything. That is what this past month has been about for me. Beginning with the third form boys’ retreat. I thought it would be the best retreat yet and that God would manifest Himself in manifold. This was the class that I pretty much made my decision to come back to Belize for. It was because I loved the second form students so much that I decided to come back and teach them. And yet this was one of the most painful retreats I’ve ever been on. Where I thought great things would happen, it seemed things went wildly out of control. The boys seemed apathetic, non-receptive, and bored. My heart ached in pain, seeing their amazing potential and seeing them be so nonchalant towards it. I guess this is something of what God feels for us when we do the same. I’ve noticed a lot of the students I was close with have really been becoming more and more detached. I was so frustrated and so confused. At that moment, I thought for the first time since I’ve been in Belize that I wanted to go home and quit. I wanted to give up. As I came back from the retreat so depressed and upset the student who received Communion for the first time in five years on the Knights retreat asked me if we were going to pray the Rosary today and I said “If you want to pray the Rosary, let’s go to the chapel.” So me and this student prayed a Rosary together alone in the chapel. And then he began to tell me how he had really began to change and when he was going through a really rough time at home and at school almost to the point of not wanting to come back to the school. He said “a phrase keeps coming back to me from the letters I received on retreat and from different situations, ‘Never Give up.’” And at that moment I realized that God was speaking through this student to me. A few weeks later, again, I was going through some serious doubts about my effectiveness and what was really the whole point of me being in Belize. I was at a daily Mass and I was just thinking, “God what am I doing here?! I’m not doing anything at this school. I’m not making a difference. If I was a good teacher, how come there are no students that come to daily Mass?” I was so frustrated and going through so many doubts. As I received Communion I offered everything up to God and as I turned the corner to return to my seat, I saw in the Communion line that same student. Sure enough, God continued to speak to me through this student. He’s been at Mass almost every day since. God, as the master Catechist, was teaching me a lesson that I largely had forgotten. It’s not me. It’s not my mission – it’s His. It’s not me – It’s Him.

“And you will meet humiliation all through your lives. The greatest humiliation is to know that you are nothing. This you come to know when you face God in prayer. When you come face to face with God, you cannot but know that you are nothing, that you have nothing. In the silence of the heart God speaks. If you face God in prayer and silence, God will speak to you. Then you will know that you are nothing. It is only when you realize your nothingness, your emptiness, that God can fill you with Himself.” ~Mother Teresa

How beautiful it is to know, it’s not me. It’s Him, it’s in His hands. All I have to do is say “Yes – Fiat! Let it be done to me according to Your word!” It’s so easy to get caught up in the stupid day to day things that happen that you forget the main point. You can get so caught up in “busy-ness” that you forget your own need and dying thirst for God, Himself. You get so caught up in the routine and the way things go that you forget what everything is all about. It’s Him! It’s Him! He is worthy of the first thought and the last thought and everything in between. Why can we get so caught up with non-sense. It’s so easy to become selfish about your own time that I’ve realized I’ve lost focus in my teaching, in my relationship with students, and with my relationship with God. Oh how beautiful is His mercy that He reminds us that even in those times of deep doubt and darkness that He leads us into His light.

This reminds me of St. Thomas. In the Gospels, never is Jesus referred to as “Theos” meaning “God”, but only “Kyrios” meaning “Lord” which can be used to describe a human person worthy of honor because they had authority from God like a king or magistrate. This was because for the Jews, which was strictly monotheistic to the core, to call anyone “God” would go utterly and directly against the fact Yahweh is God and there is no other. “Lord” was a way for the Gospel writing Jews to express divine authority without putting into question the monotheism of God. St. Thomas is always thought of as “the Doubter,” that’s what is most commonly associated with St. Thomas, which is so sad considering he was eventually a martyr for the faith. But most don’t look at St. Thomas from the following perspective. Imagine that you spend three years of your life with this man called Jesus and you see Him do miracles, you see Him heal the sick, cure the lame, the deaf, and the blind and forgive sins. He looks in your eyes with such an intensity of love and He speaks truth, which burns deeply in your heart. You come to realize that He is so much more than just a man. He is the Christ. He is Lord. He loves you in your essence. He loves you totally for who you are. And you know that by the look in His eyes. Now imagine that this Christ whom you’ve loved dies and then you hear from everyone you’ve hung out with for the past three years that this Christ appeared to all of them, but not you. Would you not doubt also? “But I was a friend of Christ too? I gave up everything for Him, why would He not appear to me? I saw the way He looked at me and He loved me! There’s no way that that the Jesus I knew would appear to all my friends, but not to me! I do not believe He rose from the dead and unless I see His hands and put my finger in His side I will not believe.” Imagine being in this doubt and aloneness where the Apostles are ecstatic saying that they have seen the Risen Christ, your one true friend, and they are filled with this amazing joy and you have to hear them reflect on it, speaking about it, knowing that if something did happen it happened to all of them but didn’t happen to you. “Why would Christ do that? Didn’t He love me? What’s wrong with me? What did I do wrong that would make Christ appear to everyone else but me? He must not have risen!” And after a week of deep doubt and deep darkness finally Jesus meets Thomas in his doubt, in his darkness. And here is the beautiful lesson that St. Thomas teaches us. That it is in those doubts and in that darkness, in those low times, that Christ desires to bring us into the light of His truth… it’s not about us… it’s about Him! And blessed are those who believe in those times of doubt and darkness who have not seen… because they will come to know who Jesus really is. And here is the deepest confession of faith that you will see anyone make in the entire Bible… Thomas cried out “My Lord “Kryios” and my God “Theos!” It is precisely through those times of doubt and through those times of darkness that Jesus will build our faith even more deeply in Him than ever before and He meets us where we are and let’s us put our fingers in His side and touch His heart where we can come to realize that HE IS GOD and that we are not. We are nothing and that He is everything! Jesus I trust in You!

November 2010

Wow, so much has happened in November even in just these past two weeks.

My classes with my fourth form have been going excellently. I had my students present on a song that is popular in the culture now and they had to tell me whether it was a good example of love, masculinity, femininity, sexuality, or a false vision of masculinity, femininity, sexuality, or lust. They did such a good job. I am so impressed with how they maturely and accurately evaluated the different songs in light of everything they have learned concerning the Theology of the Body.

Last week we had a day retreat for 3^rd Form girls and it was a very powerful experience. The Holy Spirit for sure had His hand on how things went down. The theme for the retreat was the love of God the Father and so much of the retreat reflected on the students own relationship with their father – which many of them expressed their own hurts and brokenness that has come from their fathers coming home drunk and scolding them or abusing them or their mothers or different situations that they have had where they actually felt the love of God the Father saving them from their own loneliness and depression. We did a skit where we showed how throughout life we pick up baggage from different situations and carry them with us but with God – He lightens our load. Then we did an apology expressing how we were sorry for times their friends or family had hurt them. Afterwards, they received a handwritten letter as if it was written from God the Father expressing everlasting and unconditional love for them. Many tears were shed, but I could tell that a lot of healing happened. It was a beautiful experience.

This past weekend, we had an overnight retreat for the Knights of the Immaculate in which 10 new members were inducted. The retreat was an awesome time to relax, to fellowship, and to pray. It was so amazing! Much of the retreat is a secret for those who participate, so they do not know what to expect. The highpoint of the retreat was Adoration and the time where the students received letters unbeknownst to them from their parents, siblings, friends, and teachers. You could see God just love these kids so much through this experience. Many of them were crying because of the amount of love and support that they felt. Some were shaking their head in disbelief because they never realized that they were so loved. One student looked at me with tears in his eyes saying, “He’s so powerful! … and I just want to say I love you man. Thank you.” Another kid who is new this year to the high school, I met him last year when he was in primary school because I went with his older brother whom I taught, to his grandfather’s funeral. I remember praying my Rosary for their family and feeling like God wanted me to give this Rosary to my student’s younger brother whom I did not know at the time. After we buried his grandfather, I went up to him and told him that I was sorry for his loss and I put the Rosary in his hands and he looked at me so intensely and immediately he started to weep. From that moment on I have been praying for him and this year he is in the high school and he came on retreat and it just explains how God knew even back then that He was going to bring us together in an awesome way and when we prayed the Rosary he made sure to show me that he still has the one I gave him. Another kid who has been struggling a lot with behavior problems almost to the point of getting kicked out of school has been going through a major conversion and he desired to change a lot in his life and he decided to come on retreat. During the letters, he broke down crying. That night he stayed up all night without sleeping reflecting on what God has been doing in his life. And he told me that he had not received Communion in five years. He went to confession and the next morning after all of them were Knighted – we went to Mass together in our T-shirts and as he passed by me to go in line for Communion he said, “Maestro, it’s time.” After Mass all of them were so excited. I had many of the teachers and others involved tell me, “They were all glowing! You could tell how happy they were! I’m so proud!” While I was at Mass surrounded by these young men of God in their new Knights apparel, I had to keep back the tears as I continually prayed to God, “Why do you trust me this much?” Because I realized how He had placed a huge responsibility of caring for their souls even if I am not trying to. I realized that what I say and what I do forms them and they look to me as an example. It’s scary but it’s amazing. But I am convinced, as Mother Teresa said, even God can use a broken pencil to write a love letter to the world.

And yet the mission continues. This Friday will be the 3^rd Form boys retreat. Next week I’ll be in charge of catechesis for all of the staff. Please pray for both!

October 2010

With a brief week visit to the US for a wedding in September, I have now been back in Belize 3 weeks. While I was in the States I had the blessing of being able to speak at a few Masses at my home parish and was able to raise $1,000 for the students at the parish down here who are trying to attend World Youth Day. The wedding was a great time and a wonderful reunion with family, friends, and family friends. Even though the week I was at home was completely separated and different from my life back in Belize, as soon as I returned back to Benque I got right back in the swing of things. I picked up exactly where I left off in all of my classes and I got right back into the flow of how things are run down here.


My classes are going very well. It is so nice to have the 3rd and 4th formers, because it means we can cover so much more material in much more depth and actually get into good discussion as opposed to most of my class being used to discipline as it was in my 1st form class last year (which is still the case from what I hear from all of the 1st form teachers). I have been busy, busy, busy trying to keep up with all the grades, lesson plans, course outlines, and side projects.

As of recent, the Knights of the Immaculate have certainly been picking up speed. More and more students have been expressing interest in joining. When we have initiation at our retreat November 6th, I believe we will have more than doubled – going from 7 members to about 20. The other night we had 16 high school boys show up for Mass and about half went to Confession. As I was praying as the sole gringo amongst 16 Belizean boys I was literally in awe that God would trust me so much – that He has placed me in charge of these kids’ souls! How unworthy I am and how humbled I felt that these kids would follow me. I was hit by the gravity that my actions and words have – it could literally affect these kids’ salvation. Lord I am not worthy to receive You in these kids, but only say the word and I shall be healed. Then we all went to dinner together (thanks to generous donations) and each one expressed how thankful they were for the forming of this brotherhood. It almost seems that every day this week I have had a student ask about joining the Knights and interestingly enough they are students who have recently gotten in some major trouble. I am very excited for what God is going to do.


This past Saturday, 3 Knights and 6 interested in joining showed up with us volunteer teachers to paint the pregnancy center in downtown Benque. They were very eager to help out. These kids amaze me!


Today was one of the best religion classes I have ever had – God just did His thing. I have been teaching the Theology of the Body to my fourth formers and today we were discussing “Fatherhood” and that each us learn a lesson from our dad – some good and some bad – about what it means to be a man and or what it means to be loved by a man. Yet with the love of God the Father we can experience healing. I had each of the students after watching a TV program on fatherhood write their fathers an open letter to how they feel about them. Many of these kids have grown up in fatherless homes or have been deeply hurt by their fathers. Yet during this exercise you could see that many of them were deeply affected and that the Lord started to heal many of them of past wounds. One male student wrote this…



Dear Father,
First of all let me tell you how much I love you. Thank you for all that you have done for me. I know that all you have done is because you love me, and that means so much for me. You can’t imagine how much it means. I know that our relationship has not been the best. And I’m not trying to blame you. You have to understand that as a father I expected more from you. Since I was born all I have experienced is pain, or at least that’s what I feel. Everything that mom and my sisters have gone through I feel like you had fault. Your addiction to alcohol has marked us. And many times I have cried on my own, without anybody knowing. Mom has been there for us always, but we have missed you very much. I understand the fact that you work and have to provide for us. But we also need your help, assistance, advice, guidance, and love, even more than the material. We always take mom’s side, but it is because we have had an absence of you in our lives. And sometimes I feel like I hate you; but in my heart I forgive you dad; because God has taught me how to. I would like you to spent more time with us, you don’t have to have a lot of money; you don’t even have to have any at all. All we need is your love. You always speak to me when you are drunk. But I would like to talk with you man to man, and not man to drunk. I would like you to change the way you treat me and everybody else. I sometimes get rebellious, and let me tell you that it is because of the way you treat me. If you would treat me a little bit better I would do everything you ordered me with a big smile. And you are also supposed to be advising me to the good. Help me dad. Help me be a good father to my future children and break the cycle. Talk to me. Love me! I love you!
Deep from my heart,
Student

Intense, huh?! And this is daily life for many of my students. It was beautiful to see how many of the students supported each other after this reflection, giving group hugs, and comforting one another through their tears. Many came up to me and gave me their letter to read even though I told them that I did not need to read it to grade it, yet many of them wanted to and gave me a big hug. It has been an amazing time and I do ask very much for your continued prayers. There is a lot of spiritual attack that has been hitting our students and our school in very visible ways and we need your prayers. I believe the reason that there has been so many spiritual attacks is because many of the students are on the verge of a major conversion of heart. These kids need so much healing and so much love that we could not possibly give them but only they could receive from God and so I ask from the bottom of my heart – flood heaven with your prayers for these kids. Thank you for your continued prayers and support! God bless you all!

Back in Belize

Hi!

I have been back in Belize for about a month and it has been great so far. I wanted to thank you all for your financial support and your prayers (keep the prayers coming!) This year I am teaching 3rd and 4th formers, which are like the juniors and seniors. I have many of the same students that I taught last year, which is so awesome to have them again. It is sad though because some students have stopped attending, have failed out, or had to transfer to another school so there are many kids whom I miss.

A few differences this year: There is a new group of volunteer teachers, this year I teach co-ed classes so I have to learn all the girl’s names and how girls do things (for instance I now have journals with hearts and flowers and stickers), and I teach Old Testament to 3rd Form and Christian Marriage/Sexuality/Theology of the Body to 4th Formers whereas last year I mainly taught New Testament.

It was a rough anticipation for transition for teaching. I feared that I would forget how to do it and I stressed about planning. But as soon as I stepped into the classroom I realized that I did know what I was doing and that I do not need to worry as much as I did because God has equipped me for this work and He is the one who ultimately will do His work through me regardless, as long as I give my yes. So that is nice and peaceful to know that He’s got it under control.

So far my main adventures have been running with some of the students on weeknights around Benque, going fishing with a few students in Melchor de Mencos, Guatemala (fishing means getting a stick, getting rope with a hook, getting a shovel and digging in the ground for worms, and then throwing the line into the water) riding on the back of a motorcycle with a student,




going camping with a group of kids who are planning on going to World Youth Day with the parish (it was a blast to see how goofy they can sometimes be when they’re away from all the distractions).


The Knights (the guys group) has been getting slowly started up again. I think it will pick up soon though – this year I’m trying to include my students from Guatemala more by going there every other weekend for Mass. The guys in the group said that they wanted to say a whole Rosary instead of just a decade, they said they wanted more retreats, and to do more community service like buy presents for Christmas for kids in need. Needless to say, I am proud of my boys. I’m really hoping that more of my students will join.

Keep the prayers coming! They are very needed!

Dave

Podcast available on iTunes!

For those of you who might be interested. Here is a Podcast on the history and culture of Belize along with my life as a lay missionary with the Society of Our Lady of the Trinity at Our Lady of Mount Carmel High School in Benque Viejo del Carmen, Belize.

It's available on iTunes if you search "That All Might Belize"

or go here:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=386549944

or go here:

http://thatallmightbelize.podbean.com/

You can download it and put it in your iPod or burn it to a CD and listen to it on your way to work or whathaveyou...

God bless! School year 2010-2011 STARTING SOON!!!!

May 2010

It has been quite a while since I have updated anyone on how Belize has been going. That is due mostly to the fact that this semester has been difficult in various ways. I think everything dramatically changed in my prayer life which then made everything else change as well. It's very easy to get caught up in the “busy”ness of life. With lesson plans, papers, tests, quizzes, homework, assignments, it can become very difficult to balance everything in the proper order. Thinking that I simply do not have enough time to really take time out of my day to pray. This resulted in more disorder, more stress, more negativity, gossip and I thought that the way to balance it out was to spend more time grading and preparing and then having more free time for myself, however, this was not the case. Only by spending time with the Orderer, Himself, can our life even begin to have any order.

I still made time for daily Mass, which for sure kept me afloat from sinking, but when it came to going into that inner sanctuary where our restless hearts can truly rest, I thought myself too busy with too many things to do. How foolish and stupid I have been. Here is one example: I'm a religion teacher and I have a curriculum of things I need to teach before the end of the year. At certain times, the campus minister has our class go to Adoration with our class cutting our teaching time in half. At times I would feel FRUSTRATED BY THIS?! What in the world am I thinking?! I thought “Dang it, we have adoration every other week and I don't know if I'll have enough time to teach everything that I want to.” HELLO! Where do I come up with such non-sense?! To think that I could teach something to these kids about Jesus that would be more important than spending time face-to-face with Him in the Blessed Sacrament?! How could I be so naïve? I realized that I was thinking as the world does and I realized that I was becoming like an ordinary teacher, but God does not desire ordinary people with ordinary jobs, but saints with vocations.

The only way we can become saints is by prayer which turns darkness into light, ordinary into extraordinary, human to divine. Without prayer, anything we do will not have any lasting presence. Despite my failings, I know that God has continued to work in and through me in various ways because even though I have said no to Him in so many ways, He has allowed my yes to come down here to Belize to re-echo throughout everything I do. There have been so many blessings of this semester. The blessing of Franciscan University coming down to spend time with my students, to teach them, to get to know them, and to pray with them. It was amazing to see my students get prayed over and have them reflect on their experience which for many of them was the first time anyone has ever prayed WITH them. I could see changes in them and I have continued to see changes in them. Easter down here is absolutely huge. Every single night of Holy Week there is a huge procession with “undes” which are huge floats that weigh a lot with either Jesus and Mary on top.

They process them throughout the town and pray. On Good Friday, the whole town participated in a Passion play and then that night there was a huge “unde” which was enormous. I believe it weighed 1 and a half tons and was carried throughout town by 200 men. On the streets throughout the town were “alframbas” which were carpets made of different color dyed sawdust with beautiful designs that took hours to be made only to be destroyed later that night by the procession of the “unde.”What was so encouraging was a student who told me “I have really begun to understand everything we do this week a lot more thanks to your class.”


Throughout this semester I had the opportunity to travel with the guys soccer team where they won a National Catholic tournament, that was a blast!


I also went to Antigua, Guatemala where I rode my first horse up a volcano and saw flowing lava.Yesterday was Fun Day, where we played sports with the students and competed against each other to try to win. There was a section where a bunch of people were dancing, and I, being my normal crazy self, began swing dancing in the middle with Ms. Iliana and I can honestly say I have never heard anything louder in my life. It was so funny because the students only see my “serious” side and when they saw that, they were so funny.

In fact, a student who I have been teaching since August, invited me to go to one of their ranches only after that. I thought that was funny. Over Easter break, a group of teachers and I went to Placencia, where I went snorkeling and saw a barracuda, a sea turtle, a sting ray, a spotted eagle ray, and others saw a nurse shark. It was pretty awesome. But nothing makes me happier than entering into my classroom and having students great me with a “hey Mr. Brokke!” “Maestro!” and a fist-pound. They are the coolest kids I have ever met and I love them with everything I am. I only desire that they know God and that somehow I have reflected His face to them. I only hope that somehow what I have taught them will bring them into that communion of intimacy with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – that never ending burning Love that burns, yearns, and thirsts to spend time with them. I am continually amazed at their childlike innocence despite their situations. I have seen so much in one year than I ever could have imagined. Students that have been cutters, students involved in pot and alcohol, students that have been sexually active, students addicted to porn, a student that was attacked by a gang, a student that survived her parents trying to abort her, a student that is the result of incest, a student with cancer, students that have been involved with the occult and witchcraft, students that have been abandoned, students who's parents have died, a student who's father is a murderer, a student who has been raped, a student who once was kidnapped, students verbally abused by their parents, a student physically abused and the list goes on. But they are the most beautiful kids I have ever met and I love each and every single one of them, which is why I have decided to stay another year at the mission. I will be going home for the summer (June 12th) and then I will come back in August to teach another year at Our Lady of Mount Carmel. I am very excited to be able to have this opportunity. There will also be a group of students trying to go to World Youth Day in Madrid 2011.

Any and all help would be greatly appreciated. But most of all, I would encourage you all to keep praying for the students but also to really keep praying for the teachers and their sanctity as well that we might be effective role models of holiness that will truly show them the face of Christ in our daily encounters with them. Thank you so much for your support throughout this year. I love you all and God bless you all!